hit and run :: essays research papers

It’s like I’m dead. But I’m not, I guess I’m just dead to my surroundings or everyone is just trying to make me feel that way. I walk through the crowed halls at my school, no one turns a head, no one smiles, it’s like I’m walking through a bunch of ghosts, or am I really the ghost? There are so many questions that I try to answer in the back of my head while I’m taking these steps to home room. Everyone usually feels sorry for the person who has no friends or is considered a freak. Not in my case, no one ever talks to me, so I never talk to them. I am what you would consider a nobody, a freak, a loner. Yet really I’m none of those, because no one even knows my name. People call it the New Year, a new year to change things you don’t like about yourself. Yet it’s really hard for me to do that, because I don’t even think I know myself. All I know is that I go to school get good grades, except in math, run cross country, go home, wash my hands, do my homework, and lay in bed, I never actually fall asleep. My parents say I have a problem, a mental one. I say it’s because I’m related to them. They’ll never understand me, and I’ll never understand them, that’s just the way it’s going to be. They have to deal with it, even if they say they can’t. JANUARY 2, 2007 I’m hesitating. I can’t feel a thing. I took something this morning. I can’t tell a soul, even though there is no one to tell. I look down the hall to first period. Seems like there’s three miles between me and the door, like I’m running a race. Breath I tell myself, just breath, stop thinking, just breath. I’ve made it, to my destination, if you call it a destination in itself. The school day is such a blur to me, nothing merely interesting. Same thing everyday, no one speaks to me, no one looks at me, nothing. My eyes hurt; I’m staring too hard at something, or someone in that matter. The only good thing about being ignored is that you can do stuff and people won’t notice but if you were normal, people would notice in a minute.